Pitch Feedback

We presented our ideas for our storytelling unit and had feedback from both Simon and the rest of our group. We each presented our idea by reading out our 25 word pitch out and outlining the story.

The way in which i would like to end my story, was received positively. I'd like to end my story with Amanda deciding to not reveal herself to her father, after she sees he has a family of his own and doesn't want to bring the disruption into his life.

However my initial starting point was questioned as it appears almost too random and too coincidental that she would move in opposite the father who doesn't know she exists. Other suggestions that I received from the group on how they could come to meet were

• Amanda meets him through her work, for example if she was too be an estate agent and her father is selling his house
• Dave, Amandas father, could be homeless and she could have been walking past him everyday for years on her way to work, not knowing he is her father

Getting feedback from Simon and the rest of the group is very helpful. It helps me to reflect on my idea, how i could change it or develop it further. Sometimes when writing things may make sense to the writer but not to the audience, so it is good to get that reassurance from my peers. After the feedback session i am thinking of new ways i can adapt the start of my story, whilst attempting to keep the essence of the story i wanted to portray.