PRE-PRODUCTION; SCREENWRITING FORMATS AND DRAFT 3

As I am currently in the middle of drafting script number 3, I wanted to brush up on my knowledge of the formats of scripts so that I knew I had this right.
Parenthetical - Used to direct an action mid-dialogue for a character
Scene Heading - At the top of each scene to describe where the scene is taking place and also if it is day or not
Characters Names - Within an action, the character names should be capitalised to emphasise the character
Transitions - Use terms like 'fade out' 'dissolve to' at the end of every scene to indicate what is happening for the editor between scenes - also can discuss this with editor
O.S - On Screen to show that the voice will be heard on screen but not the actual character
Subheader - For when a scene changes location slightly but you do not want it to go to a complete new scene

With the script, I have just finished writing up the 3rd draft. So far I have been really surprised by how many drafts I have done, however I keep making changes to certain scenes because I am overall not happy with them. The focus of draft 3 for me, was the ending. Since the start I haven't liked the ending, I think it came to a resolution too quickly and didn't stress the important of talking about your feelings/mental health issues as much as I would have liked. Simon also gave me lots of feedback from draft 2 which allowed me to think of and make a lot of changes for draft 3, changes that overall I am really happy with.

Now I have decided that I wanted to focus a bit more on guilt. Our main character Marlo, feels guilty because his girlfriend Nova died from a car accident whilst visiting a university open day for him, so he feels that he is to blame for the death of Nova. I have changed mainly two things -

1) I wanted him to hear someone say 'It was all your fault' because it demonstrates the paranoia that Marlo is feeling and also I think it lifts the narrative a lot more by creating a narrative enigma. The audience are going to be wondering if someone actually said it and if they did what was his fault? as well as questioning if he imagined it all

2) I also completely changed the last 2/3 scenes. Originally Marlo went straight home, saw his mum with a therapist which made him run to Nova and subsequently decided to say goodbye to her forever after a heart to heart. Now, I decided to change it so Marlo sees Nova first, has a heart to heart about what happened and how he feels, then he runs home and sees his mum with a therapist. I think this is effective because it piles on for Marlo the realisation of needing to get better, seeing all of this in succession with each other will make him see the reality of what he is feeling. Following this he goes back to Nova one more time to say goodbye. I really like this last bonus scene, it feels a lot more natural and progressive in terms of the narrative. I also wrote this scene with heavy dialogue just from Marlo, Nova now posing as more of a ghostly/silent figure sits and listens to Marlo as he opens up about how he is feeling and ultimately says goodbye

3) After getting feedback from Simon, about draft 2 of the script, he suggested that I have written certain words too much. For example I say, 'He is distressed' rather than showing it. I went through the script and changed all of these to action as much as I could. I added in two re-occuring elements to try and emphasis the character more. The first was an engraved pocket watch, Marlo was gifted this by Julie and it is important to him, in the script he holds it and looks at it intensely in times of hardship, I wanted it to portray motivation to the character, he is trying hard to be okay for his Mum who he cares for, but his conflicting feelings means he cannot. Secondly, I decided to give Marlo a tick of some sort, he taps his finger on sides, or his leg when walking, this signifies the anxiety that he goes through and is somewhat of an emotional tick.