After having a tutorial with Steve Coombs regarding my script, the main points of feedback that i got were
-to show more and tell less (i.e. a bit to much explanative dialogue in some places)
-Possibly introduce Dave's other daughter (the cause of some issues within the script)
-Also a few ideas for a few new scenes
After having my feedback from Steve, i have changed my script in some ways. Now, Amanda was abandoned by her father when she was very young, instead of him not knowing she exists. She believes her younger sister to be facing the same neglect by Dave that she faced, and because of this she intervenes by talking to her sister and attempting to introduce herself. Thinking that she is just a meddling neighbour, Dave storms to Amanda's house in fury at her involvement, only once Dave opens up about his life issues and offers some explanation as to why he struggles with Amanda's sister, Amanda soon realises that Dave isn't as bad as he seems.
I believe changing the script in this way offers opportunities for the expansion of some scenes, for example Amanda meeting her sister, and also means i will be able to show more rather than telling.
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